There couldn’t be a worse time

There couldn’t be a worse time

to think of lying in bed for two days straight even as the exam I need to ace is two days away.

There couldn’t be a worse time

to think of a hurting back and an empty soul and a vast abyss of time and nothingness.

There couldn’t be a worse time to imagine what it was like to be a little more hardworking and a little less selfish and a little more motivated and a little less like this.

There couldn’t be a worse time

To read viral suicide awareness posts even though I am not suicidal not depressed only thinking – I don’t have the motivation to even do this.

And then hating myself for thinking that.

There couldn’t be a worse time

to have an aching wrist from looking at my phone too long

To hear the tales of everything that has gone wrong with me , with my loved ones, with my family – and knowing that someone else mistakenly BELIEVES in me.

 

There couldn’t be a worse time

to stand on the precipice of something beautiful

Only to watch it slip away .giphy-1

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One thought on “There couldn’t be a worse time

  1. weavingwounds says:

    everything hit, resonated .. just, relatable.
    I’m again glad, I’m not alone and it is not just me who’s watching it all slip away..there has never been a worse time and there never could be a worse time ..i feel you
    I hope the fear sets in and gets us out of bed

    Like

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