An apology for unfollowing that blog

Dear friend ,

As a human being with human dreams, I too have dreamt of doing things. Of adding value. of making a difference . To society in general and my life in particular . But of late a man named Kanan Gill has come in the way of my dreams .

Don’t get me wrong here .  Our paths have never crossed. There has never been any love lost between us. He doesn’t know I exist ,  or if he does, he has done a spectacular job of keeping his obsession with me a closely guarded secret .

(Why else would his agent not reply to my emails, my witty epistles filled with clever puns like ‘Farewell and Lolspeed’) (godspeed , get it?)

Naturally , such rejection messed me up. How could someone I love so much not agree to be interviewed by me ? How could such a person set boundaries .  How selfish. How cruel… and he had the nerve to not reply to my comment on his Facebook page.

Even though I said “lol”

surely a comedian would thank somebody if they laugh at his joke. even if it was some sad  and unfunny shit about him having an accident and cancelling his next show because he was in the ICU . Surely he’d see, out of all his fans , I was the only one who could get his jokes. I got all his references. And yet , he couldn’t take out one moment to reply to a fan .

So i knew that the success had gone to his head. With a heavy heart , I pressed the unfollow button. IT actually meant that i just pressed the follow button again , because there is  no unfollow button.

I didn’t want to, but it wasn’t about the posts , it was about the principle . He had more followers than I did. His follower count exceeded mine, by a total of 50 followers. and God knows how many more pageviews. A collaboration between us would have benefitted him before. it would have added value to his blog, and by extension , to society. But with this new found success , he didn’t need me to collaborate. he already had Sonakshi Sinha, with her big eyes and Bollywood connections. Her dad was in politics ,  and mine , just in his silly old service job . Putting in more hard work and less partying .  more grammar , less glamour.

Any Kenny Biswa or Kannan would choose to forget their struggling days and remember the partying times.

But is there no partying for us lesser mortals? have we descended to a level of humanity so low that a person who forgets the US president who passed the 1964 civil rights act is forgotten by the entire universe ?  if yes, then I have no wish to follow an already famous blog. I have no wish to follow a path that is unknown and dangerous .  I only wish to sleep. I can no longer be the fan. I can only stare at it with the longing of unfulfilled dreams and unstated,unsatiated desires.

I will leave you now to stare at the ceiling . As I embark upon my reflective inner journey ,  I bid you adieu.  farewell , and Lolspeed .

Darth Elmo,

Sith lord muppet .


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